Seen. Heard. Valued.
Oddball Leaders build a culture of belonging
As an Oddball Leader — especially as one whose management experience was forged in the flames of the COVID pandemic — maintaining an environment of psychological safety for any team I lead is absolutely essential.
Understanding what makes people feel safe, and the circumstances that foster peoples’ sense of belonging is one of the first things I try to grasp when I bring someone new onto my team, or I become the leader of a new team.
I find that when people feel safe and when team members have a genuine sense of welcome in the workplace — they are motivated to bring their best selves as often as they’ll allow. Because they feel seen, heard, and valued — and they want to be there.
Be warned: there is no one-size-fits-all Template of Workplace Belonging (Ok, tight though. That sounds like a Dungeons & Dragons Weapon). Everyone belongs differently!
Of course, this means you will have to do some self-reflection, and maybe uncover some hard truths about yourself.
I’M GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND AS I TELL YOU THIS: NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO ATTEND YOUR FORCED, AFTER-HOURS CO-WORKER THING.
Back when I was a new manager, I thought being an Oddball Leader meant something different entirely than what I know it to be today.
I thought Oddball Leadership meant fostering a sense of team-bonding through fun and interesting activities.
I thought it meant being the laid-back, devil-may-care “cool boss.”
I thought it meant making space for small talk.
And I thought it meant that, because that’s what I like and/or saw in myself — seeking human connection with others, happy hours, potlucks. Being recklessly approachable. As I am an extrovert personally, I am one professionally.
It was a hard lesson to learn that not everyone in the workplace, even on just my team, likes small talk. Or after-hours work activities.
(And yes, the ones that aren’t forced are still laden with pressure and unfair expectations.)
This can be a harsh reality to accept. You might take it personally. You might feel jilted. But, ultimately — it’s okay that most people want to clock in at 9:00 a.m., slam their laptops shut at 5:00 p.m., and go home without giving their job a second thought until they wake up the next day. Trust me. It will be fine.
(I will say — and you can disagree — once you reach a certain level on the org chart, one should expect to make oneself more available/accessible outside of office hours. That’s part of the increased responsibility that accompanies management positions — increased availability for doing job stuff, not keg stands.)
EMBRACING THE DIFFERENCES
We have to break from this notion that there is somehow more merit to an open-door policy than a closed one. That everyone should want to take a break in the middle of the work day once a month to celebrate co-worker birthdays.
As an Oddball Leader, you want to make sure your team members are seen, heard, and valued. They won’t feel valued if they have crippling social anxiety, yet are constantly being forced into social situations.
They won’t feel heard if you insist your team members must work in-office every day, even when they have a sick kid and no one to provide childcare.
If you are glad they are a part of the team — MEAN IT.
GUESS WHAT? BUILDING A CULTURE OF BELONGING IS HARD, TOO.
If you’ve been keeping score, every single trait of an Oddball Leader is hard as hell to uphold. I DON’T MAKE THE RULES I’M SORRY.
Not only should you know your team’s preferences, and what makes each one of them feel a sense of belonging — but also you should lead by example in honoring the unique circumstances that make belonging possible.
To your whole team, you should be clear in your stance on belonging, that everyone belongs differently, and that the team must embrace and honor each others’ circumstances, too. You will surely build a culture of true belonging more expeditiously when your whole team is behind it.
PARTING THOUGHT: BUILDING A CULTURE OF BELONGING IN PRACTICE
I know what you’re thinking (maybe): if everyone on my team belongs differently, how can I even begin to build a culture where everyone feels welcome?
Ask.
I have a relatively simple practice when I either find myself in a new leadership role or I hired on a new team member.
After understanding a team member’s job basics — title, how long they’ve worked there — I ask a series of questions like these:
If I need to get a hold of you during the day, what is the best way to reach you?
Think of the best manager or teacher you’ve ever had. What were/are their best traits?
Are there any common management “pet peeves” you have that I should avoid?
What else should I know that will help you feel seen, heard, and valued in your role?
The job you do is only as successful as the team you lead. Building a culture of belonging starts by having an open, honest discussion about what you as a leader can do to ensure your team members feel safe, seen, heard, and valued — that they are a part of something that is bigger than they are, and that they are needed.