Do You See What I See?
A Christmas Schmuck's Case for Holiday Empathy
I am a Christmas Schmuck™️.
There, I said it (to no one’s surprise, of course).
I’m the type of person who starts playing Christmas music at midnight on November 1.
Who decorates the Christmas tree like a shiny, rainbow clown threw up on it.
Who scours the Amazon and Target toy catalogs like I have any business owning slimes or Squishmallows or other some such nonsense.
(Not gonna lie, I 100% want this though.)
Let’s face it: My Christmas Schmuckery puts Buddy the Elf to SHAME. SHAME!!!
BUT NOT EVERYONE SHARES IN MY ENTHUSIASM
I’ve learned over the years that my tinsel-and-holly delight isn’t universal, for a number of reasons — the most obvious of which is that not everyone celebrates Christmas, or the holidays in general.
But so much of our identity as a society is tied up in the nostalgia of holiday magic.
The festivities with loved ones!
The twinkling lights!
The overindulging!
The harmony! The unity! The fa-who fores, da-who dores!
And when so much of identity as a society is caught up in the Christmas Schmuckery, we are quick to forget very important truths:
People mourn loved ones they’ve lost, especially during the holidays.
People have estranged family members they won’t see — or (right or wrong) they themselves are estranged.
Not everyone can afford to travel, cook large meals, or exchange gifts.
Lighting up a Christmas tree is hard when you can’t pay the electricity.
It’s extremely important to keep empathy at the forefront of your working relationships and keep your Christmas enthusiasm in check as you make space for those around you who just want to survive until January 2.
HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS: EMPATHY ≠ AGREEMENT
One of the key benefits of maintaining a psychologically safe work environment is that you can bring your full, authentic self to work while honoring and respecting those around you.
You can love Christmas like it’s your full-time personality while acknowledging the emotional gaps that the holidays infamously expose.
These are two things we can hold in tension — these things can be true at the same time.
HOLIDAY EMPATHY THROUGH THE ODDBALL LEADERSHIP LENS
The four key principles of Oddball Leadership (belonging, appreciation, curiosity, and joy) — while practically applied all year — can be especially critical when upheld at holiday time.
Belonging. Be abundantly clear with those you lead: “You don’t have to match my energy to be a vital part of this team — now or ever.”
Appreciation. The holidays are a time to show an overabundance of gratitude. Ways to appreciate your team should be personalized and meaningful. Some people are delighted with a $5 Starbies gift card. Others might want the afternoon off. Know what resonates.
Curiosity. Don’t assume everyone is thriving in a constant fever dream of Christmas shenanigans. They could be barely holding it together. But don’t pry — be present, offer a listening ear, and give back what is requested of you (which might be nothing).
Joy. Not everyone likes workplace festivities. I am not one of those people, but it’s important to understand that not everyone feels the same way about Secret Santa or potlucks or holiday mixers with their co-workers. Mandatory fun isn’t fun. Allow for your team to “opt in” to delight.
STRIKING THE BALANCE
While you may want to dial back on marathoning the Hallmark Holiday Classics, you don’t want to go full bore on the Werner Herzog documentaries, either.
Because there is still joy amidst strife.
Miracles amidst crisis.
Love amidst loneliness.
Empathy acknowledges the reality of every thing in the lives of every person — the good, the bad, and the ugly. Even if it’s sad, awkward, or not wrapped in glitter.
EMPATHY AS THE BRAVE CHOICE
In a season obsessed with holiday cheer, choosing empathy is brave — especially when you’re a Christmas Schmuck.
Be it, live it — and also be the leader who sees the hidden storms, the quiet ache, the people just trying to make it through.
Hold your joy close.
Hold your people closer.
Because the work force doesn’t need more leaders forcing the holiday spirit— they need more leaders who can actually see.
