Stop Worshipping at the Altar of The Grind
Everyone's tired, and no one's getting saved.
I used to be one of those people who — even from a beach chair, in the hot summer sun, on the edge of the Atlantic Ocean — never took a vacation.
Even though my “out of office” auto-responder and voicemail message were toggled on, I was still very much in the office — my time, my energy, my brain power.
Checking emails.
Responding to Teams messages.
Returning donor phone calls.
Wringing my hands over deadlines.
Lamenting conflict between team members and furiously ruminating over a solution.
Strategizing.
(Ulcerating.)
(Burning out.)
(Ignoring the here and now.)
I need not tell you how all kinds of wrong that posturing is in the workplace.
When Oddball Leaders center values like joy and playfulness, they must be able to mindfully and intentionally hang it up. Unplug. Escape to the forest and live with a kindly, old bog witch for a few months.
But that wasn’t me for a long time in my career.
A GRAVE SOCIETAL ISSUE
I don’t think I can entirely blame myself for how I used to be; in fact, I can name several factors that likely contribute to this ugly behavior, that unfortunately have been normalized, and perhaps have even been generally accepted since the founding of the U.S.
The prevailing notion that producing has a moral value to society. I completed my undergraduate studies in 2008, and what followed for me — like many others, I know — was five years of unemployment and underemployment. I was a married adult living in my parents’ basement. When I was hired for my first full-time job, I think I felt like I had to make up for lost time. To compensate for the five years I wasn’t producing and was leeching value from society.
The belief that The Grind is a moral imperative. Look at any LinkedIn influencer’s page, who uses their platform to flex their “superiority” because they work 26-hour days, eight days a week. ✨wOrK hArD, pLaY hArD gIrL bOsS!!✨ You know the type. Meanwhile, the rest of us struggle to keep up.
The long-standing assumption that individuals will always be rewarded for hard labor. That the harder you work, the bigger the payoff will be for you. This assumption was instilled in me as a child. Always made good grades. Always involved with every activity. I was rudely awakened earlier this year when I was roundly fired from a job I busted my ass in, while being involved with a million other things, both fundraising-related and not. The Grind will NEVER protect you from insecure leaders, unfair hiring practices, and poor workplace ethics.
Instead of idolizing The Grind, let’s not forget what grinding is meant to do — to disintegrate the whole into a fine powder, to where it can blow away with the wind. To make nothing out of something.
THE GRIND RUINS TEAMS
I maintain The Grind and Oddball Leadership are diametrically-opposed perspectives on workplace conduct. You cannot respect The Grind and lead in a way that uphold the characteristics of Oddball Leadership.
Even if there was some validity to the moral imperative of producing, imagine how The Grind clashes with the Oddball Way. If you are working on vacation, inserting yourself with email responses, texting your boss, directing staff from your beach chair, what does that say about you?
Do you really trust your staff to get work done in your absence? And wouldn’t they feel like you’re breathing down their necks from Punta Cana?
Are you really into setting healthy boundaries? And do you expect your team to burn out by following your example?
Are you and/or your job so important that the organization would collapse in your absence? (I will hold your hand as I answer this question for you: you are not, and neither is your job.)
As I type this, I’m wrapping up a much-needed and well-deserved (and maybe-not-long-enough) holiday break from my job. In a time gone by, right now I would be responding to work emails, texting my boss, and posting in Teams with full regularity. It makes me throw up, a little.
I’m glad to have discovered the power of true rest and relaxation, a long journey though it has been. If you struggle with unplugging fully, I implore you to put the phone down. Turn off your work computer, and go do something completely unrelated to work that brings you joy.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a cauldron of potions that needs stirring.
